Codependency can wreak havoc on your mental health. Being in a codependent relationship can cover up deeper things you should be working on. Sometimes codependent relationships can become abusive, either emotionally or physically. It is important to remove yourself from any co-dependent situations as soon as you discover you are in them, so you can start to heal. If you feel you have codependent tendencies, then it’s important to find a therapist to help you work on that, so you don’t fall into the same trap again. If you find yourself in a codependent relationship because of abuse or manipulation, then counseling would be beneficial to try and recover from the trauma.
1. You Feel Like You Can’t Live Without Them
One of the signs of a codependent relationship is that you feel like this person is your whole world. When you start feeling like the other person or thing completes you, and without them, you would fail to be a whole person, that is a sign you are in an unhealthy relationship with someone or something.
2. You Want to Be Saved, Constantly
While the idea of someone riding in on a white horse to save you might seem romantic at first, it is highly enabling. You do not need anyone to save you. You are the author of your story, and you are perfectly capable of saving yourself.
3. You Feel Restricted
A relationship with rules and restrictions is no relationship at all. In a healthy relationship, all parties should feel free to be who they are and should not feel as if one must jump through a complicated set of hoops to please the other partner.
4. You Make Others Responsible for Your Happiness
No one is in charge of your happiness but yourself. Looking for someone else to make you happy will only lead to more unhappiness. However, you should not take this to an extreme that you should not care for others happiness. There is a huge difference between cheering someone up and not causing undue harm, and pinning all your hopes and dreams on one person.
5. You’re a Caregiver
Every relationship has a balance of power, and for the most part, it should be relatively equal. However, if you feel as if you are always taking care of the other person or acting in a parental capacity when you are supposed to be on equal footing, then perhaps you are in a codependent relationship.
6. You Blame Others
You blame others for discord in your relationship. You blame others for your unhappiness. You blame others for everything. If you go around blaming others for things in your life, you will find yourself surrounded by friction and unhappiness. When you take responsibility for your actions and emotions, you will find that you will no longer wish to be in a codependent relationship and start to take the necessary steps to remove yourself from that situation.
If you or someone you know is experiencing addiction, developing an adequate treatment plan is essential to achieve recovery. A free service like Freedom From Addiction can be of help to explore the different treatment options available. For 24/7 assistance, call 1.855.RECOVER or 1.855.732.6837.
Sydney DeZinno is a writer from Tucson, AZ. A graduate of the University of Arizona, she an active advocate that is passionate about addiction recovery and helping those in crisis.
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